Hulkkupy Wall Street

The Occupy Wall Street movement is spreading across America and across the world. We the PEOPLE are no longer content to serve as a market of fools to be exploited for profit. #OWS on @twatter is blowing up! The message of corporate and government collusion written in Hulkipedia is motivating the masses to rise up!

Wall Street bankers are rewarded for failure as their firms mistreat customers investors and the public trust. At a time when teachers and other middle class government employees are derided for earning paychecks of taxpayer-funded "opium" (i.e. OPM - Other People's Money), the billions in Wall Street profits, made possible by enormous bailouts of the very same "opium," are ignored by the masses and celebrated by the elite. Profits for which the bankers rewarded themselves handsomely with bailout bonuses and golden parachutes - rewards for failure. Wall Street is now addicted to "opium," cheap capital from the government to cover their losses and erase the bad decisions of their risky bets. They claim to provide capital to businesses for job creation, but it is US who provide capital to them so they can make themselves rich.

When the 1% loudly cry "class war," they conveniently neglect to mention that they've been winning it for the past thirty years. They are money-changers, rent seekers, swindlers, economic royalists and robber barons. The American economy has been turned upside down through globalization from one of innovation, production, and exports to one of litigation, consumption and imports. Despite rampant consumerism's place as the foundation of our modern economy, the 1% are doing their best to destroy the consumer base. "Job creators" have brainwashed Americans into believeing social programs and collective bargaining rights are "expensive entitlements" while government throws money away on subsidies to factory farms and Big Oil. "Union" has become a dirty word, even among those who stand to benefit most from solidarity. The good of the many should always outweigh that of the few, but the captured politicians and corporate media have recast the many as the few.

There will always be those who choose to remain blind, who never leave their comfort zone in the selfish default mode of human thought, who wish to have their rights and and interests sold to them by swindlers, who take the easy path of passing judgement on those who defy the establishment. It is up to us to ignore their diversions and smokescreens and take back this country for the People.

Corporations and the politicians on their payroll treat us as commodities - dollars and votes to be captured. They won't even need us to actually vote any more once the rigged "money-goes-in/votes-come-out" voting machines are pushed on a majority of states. The oft-repeated noble-sounding goal of everyone owning their own home really means everyone should be in debt for life. You don't exist as a person unless you owe someone money. How much of the growth in corporate profits over the last five years has come as a result of layoffs? We want representatives who act in the interest of EVERYONE they represent, not just those who peddle money and influence. We want corporate leaders who RESPECT customers, employees, and the environment instead of strong arming all for personal gain.

Mass media struggles with our message because it's not one they provided for us. They believe we Americans are a mindless rabble to be advertised to and influenced with basic emotional appeals and brainwashing. They grope for a "unified message" so they can more easily dismiss it without having to confront the systemic corruption of our government and moral bankruptcy of our economy, along with every heinous source thereof. They want an identifiable leadership who can be discredited, labeled, defaced, and ridiculed with impunity. They are quick to point out protesters' hypocrisy of using corporate-produced computers and ATMs, but don't dare point out the daily hypocrisies (off-shoring jobs until Americans can't earn enough to buy your products, endless foreign wars to provide a market to "defense" contractors) that pass as "business as usual" on Wall Street and in Washington.

It's not about Left vs Right, liberals and conservatives. Both sides have been captured and integrated into the system of corruption. Stop trying to paint this as political - it is MORAL. It's about greed, cheating, stealing, selfishness. There's no difference between the two major parties any more; R and D have become $ and $. Change doesn't come through voting, we tried to elect change in 2008 and ended up with the status quo, only harder. The false choice between representatives of the same moneyed interests is no longer a suitable venue for citizen redress. The People have to be heard.
 
The problems we face are too vast to be encapsulated in a soundbite-friendly corporate communications-style public relations "unified statement" or laundry list of demands. The movement is a conversation about ideas, and turning those ideas into action. Here are some of my ideas, regarding income inequality and political corruption:

CORPORATIONS ARE NOT PEOPLE
Corporate personhood is an egregious exploitation of the 14th Amendment ("No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.") held up by 150 years of case law that has escalated into absurdity. By hijacking a law intended to ensure the rights of freed slaves, the doctrine of corporate personhood is a nineteenth-century mistake that perverts a noble proclamation of equality and must be reversed.

FAILURE IS NOT SUCCESS
Losers should not be paid like winners. The practice of Wall Street bankers enriching themselves with bailout bonuses and golden parachutes must end. Those of us in the real world are crippled by loss of income when we lose our jobs, even with unemployment insurance. It is unconscionable that corporate boards allow executives to get away with enormous severance contracts after doing great harm to the company and economy as a whole, all while claiming they deserve their riches for being so "talented" and "successful." We have to clean up the boardrooms, replace the cronies handpicked by CEOs with people of integrity and accountability.

INCOME IS INCOME
A favorite diversionary talking point of establishment parrots is that 47% of Americans pay no income tax. They don't mention it's because most of them don't have enough income to qualify, like single mothers trying to feed their children on a waitress' salary. Never mind that they still pay payroll taxes, sales taxes, and maybe property taxes. Never mind that the "53%" take advantage of the same deductions and exemptions, they just earn more in wages. Also among those who pay no income taxes: members the military. These "53%ers" would have our soldiers worry about 1040EZ forms instead of AK47 bullets. What a way to support our troops! While the 1% deploys their campaign of tax misinformation, they enjoy huge tax cuts and exemptions on their real sources of income - carried interest and capital gains - that their government pawns enacted for them. Taxes on real wages should be lowered, and taxes on unearned income should be significantly raised.

DEBT IS NOT WEALTH
Wall Street needs to be reined in by substantial regulation and real punishment for those who break the law. The creation of intentionally-sabotaged mortgage-backed securities and their sale to unwitting clients who were then shorted for profit is a crime. High-frequency trading, naked shorting, 3X leveraged ETFs, CDOs, Magnetar - if you don't understand what any of that means, it's because Wall Street doesn't want you to. They are operating in the shadows of arcane trades and complex derivatives, away from the public eye and regulatory oversight. Wall Street needs to go back to being about investment in companies that make products and services that enhance the public good. The original benefit to owning stock was paid dividends, not capital gains. Today, Wall Street is about bankers enriching themselves with overblown fees while investors, borrowers, and the public are hung out to dry. Government bailouts must never again allow banks to reap the rewards of their risky gambles while taxpayers cover their losses. America's economy must return to one of production and exports, not debt and financial market manipulation.

GET MONEY OUT OF POLITICS
Washington and state capitals are all bought and paid for by the corporate plutocracy. Politicians are pandering beggars who spend most of their time and taxpayer's money panhandling for legalized bribes and unlimited anonymous campaign contributions. They throw out divisive wedge issues which the media inflate to distract the public from the laws they pass to favor their corporate benefactors. Elections all come down to two candidates who represent the same interests. We want leaders who act in the best interests of the people who ELECTED them, not the ones who BOUGHT them.

Occupy Wall Street is just getting started. The movement is reaching critical mass worldwide; we have become impossible for the power elite to conveniently ignore. We the 99% will no longer sit idly by while our future is stolen from us to further enrich the wealthy. We no longer accept the dogma and rhetoric spoon-fed to the public by the plutocratic establishment. Hulkipedia is the 99%! HULKKUPY WALL STREET!

"America does not give in to fear"

Ten years after the horror, at the hallowed site of Ground Zero in Manhattan, President Obama stood and said "America does not give in to fear." He stood behind a panel of bulletproof Popemobile glass, under the watchful eye of Secret Service snipers and paramilitary guards, while innocent American citizens on planes were arrested for looking "suspicious," while the media stoked fears of al-Qaeda attacks on small aircraft despite there being "no specific or credible terrorist threat," while unmanned drones half the world away destroyed buildings and killed civilians in their endless effort to eradicate the abhorrent terrorists who so brazenly attacked our nation, also from the air. Safely entombed by the National Security State, America reflected upon the events of 911, and vowed once again to Never Forget.

Ten years ago, the permanent Washington Establishment, still addicted to the military excesses of the Cold War, jumped on the opportunity to transform the country. The amorphous ever-present threat of Islamic terrorism perfectly fit the role of national boogeyman so recently vacated by the Soviets. The thousands of murdered Americans were instantly turned into martyrs, their memories perverted and abused to usher in a decade of neoconservative fantasy.

Endless wars, forever escalating around the globe. The Department of Homeland Security, the TSA, the NSA, the Patriot Act. An enormous, insidious surveillance bureaucracy that would give Stalin a hard-on invades citizen's privacy for their own protection. The spooks are in your iPhone, in your Facebook, and in your mind. As consumer electronics become more advanced and pervasive, the spooks are right alongside, building themselves into the fabric of our mediadrome. These are the legacies of 911 in America.

911 has been exploited to indulge the worst demons of the American psyche. The financial disaster of 2008 has left us cowed and submissive, just how the government wants us - still so afraid that we'll accept whatever civil liberties violations they pass off as protection, and grateful for whatever illusions of privacy we're allowed. "We were attacked!" was the required excuse for the government's abuses of power. Now it's become de rigueur. We expect it, we welcome it.

We continue to define ourselves by the crimes committed against us. Just as the terrorists wanted. On September 11, 2101, people will have to look up the names of those who were murdered a century before, but because of our enduring culture of fear, they will already know the name Osama bin Laden.

Fear, war, vengeance, and blind deference to authority are part of the selfish default mode of human thought. When we allow ourselves to succumb to this way of thinking, and let it aggregate in the halls of power, we send America backwards on the path of enlightenment. We must not give in to the basic autopilot urges of violence and authoritarianism that our founders sought to avoid, and instead champion reason, empathy, compassion, individual liberty, egalitarianism, justice, and the tireless pursuit of TRUTH.

Shadow Wars

The American people hate war. We hate sending the youth of our nation to suffer heinous physical and psychological wounds if they're lucky and lose their lives if they're not. But the Cold War addicts in the American government love it, so like a junkie shooting up between his toes to hide the track marks, they've gone underground. While the population is distracted by establishment smokescreens like media-manufactured show trials and mollified by feel-good reunion shows that exploit the soldiers and their families to garner public support, the warmongers endlessly and needlessly send more troops into combat without a clear definition of "victory" against an enemy with a thousand-year history of violent resistance against repeated foreign occupation.

Meanwhile at home, to question the decisions or methods of the War Department (don't believe their "defense" doublespeak, where was our defense on 911? Oh yeah, they were in on it) is tantamount to conspiring with the enemy. If you dare to protest unjust and illegal wars waged "to keep us free," you are charged with "reducing morale" and placing our sacred freedom warriors in further danger. The only freedom our wars protect today is that of America's military-based economy.

War is America's chief export and weapons are its primary domestic product. War is such a vital part of the American economy that peace would simply cost too many jobs. War is our greatest job creator. Just as World War II got us out of the Great Depression and made America the Greatest Nation on Earth™, the escalation of the Global War on Terror by (2009 Nobel Peace Prize winner) Obama will put us all back to work exporting death. Like the tendrils of a noxious creeping weed, weapons contractors and war profiteers have virulently infested every Congressional district in the country, ensuring their local importance to pork-hungry lawmakers. The military-industrial complex has so intertwined itself in the economy that the largest employer in Alabama is Lockheed-Martin.

 The War Department demands more and more taxpayer money every year to keep their vision of endless war alive. Just like its open-ended operations in the Middle East, the Pentagon throws billions of dollars at open-ended weapons development, like a warplane expected to fill every combat role imaginable, a shallow-water warship filled with robots, a hypersonic glider designed to drop bombs anywhere on Earth in under an hour (or your pizza's free!), and a missile-zapping lightning gun whose scrap parts were sold on eBay. These expensive weapon boondoggles have gone on for years, will never be finished, and do nothing to help our soldiers; they only serve to keep the war profiteers balance sheets in the black.

With the military tied up in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Shadow Wars are fought in secret by the CIA and private contractors. Leon Panetta went from CIA chief spook to Secretary of War, and General David Patraeus took his place as CIA director; a crossover between espionage and military expertise. The two agencies have become the same entity, launching secret drone strikes across international borders that kill dozens of civilians to take out a possible terrorist outhouse, then disavowing any knowledge of the "unattributed explosions" through mass media lapdogs who dutifully report as truth whatever propaganda their "anonymous government sources" wish to disseminate.

The unmanned drone is America's weapon of choice in the Shadow Wars. Instead of an infantryman toughing it out on the battlefield with an M-16, you have a joystick jockey in Nevada who kisses his wife and kids after a breakfast of Pop Tarts and soy milk before commuting off to war. The war of the future involves no risk to Americans, who will safely sit at their consoles and distribute death to all kinds of brown people through their hovering terminators with the push of a button. Tomorrow's soldiers are already being indoctrinated to do just that by playing combat-glorifying video games.

The CIA also operates an unknown number of black site "interrogation facilities" (torture prisons). Despite his campaign promise to shutter Gitmo, our Nobel-Laureate-in-Chief is instead opening more torture prisons worldwide, in such hot vacation destinations as Bagram, Afghanistan and Mogadishu, Somalia. First-class amenities include indefinite imprisonment without trial, waterboarding and plausible deniability. Add these to your travel guide of permanent US military installations along with Iraq, Germany, Japan, Korea, Kuwait, Guam, Bermuda, and the British Indian Ocean Territory, just to name a few.

When our forces are successful and what civilians that survive the bloody asymmetric conflict are "liberated," what's the next step? Why, send in the beneficent American corporate interests to divide the resources and profit from the "nation building," of course!

The American Military Establishment goes to war paying lip service to noble concepts like spreading democracy and defending our freedom, when its real goals are lining the pockets of its corporate patrons and expanding the power of the president. These Shadow Wars are wars of conquest, and proof that imperialism is alive and well.

Rupert Murdoch Started the UK Riots

The riots erupting throughout the UK have been blamed on everything from the death of a young father at the hands of armed police to teenage boredom. Once again, the TRUTH is being obscured!

Worldwide Master of Corporate Media Rupert Murdoch sparked the unrest to distract the public from the phone hacking scandal discovered at his UK branch News International, which is falling to pieces amid scrutiny and pressure from the Guardian and the government.

Having to drop his bid for satellite television giant BSkyB, Murdoch lost his chance for a space-based mind-control system which would mentally enslave the entire population of the British Isles. Instead, he had to rely on the text-based subliminal messaging present in tabloid advertising placards placed outside newsagents everywhere in Britain's major cities.

Over the last few weeks, headlines in the remaining News International papers the Times, the Sun, and the Sunday Times contained subliminal trigger phrases, which agitated the young Britons to riot. The hypnotic instructions have been subtly placed in the subconscious of British youth for decades by the outdoor signage, which disperses the message wider than newspapers alone.

With the press and public overwhelmed by hypnotized youth rioting around the country, Murdoch can quietly go about bribing MPs and PMs and Scotland Yard to make this whole phone hacking investigation just go away. But he can't hide the TRUTH from Hulkipedia!

Dumbocracy in Scamerica

In Democracy in America, French smarty-pants Alexis de Tocqueville predicted a country in which the voices of the wise and thoughtful minority would be drowned out by a shrill, ignorant, materialistic majority. 150 years later, the once thoughtful minority has become the power elite by systematically brainwashing the majority through mind control and propaganda. Government, Mass Media, and Big Business all collude to keep us real ordinary American citizens misinformed, complacent, and dumb.

Politicians distract voters with controversial wedge issues like abortion, gay marriage, and illegal immigration. These are emotional arguments contrived to manufacture outrage on both sides and divert attention from hypocrisy, corruption, malfeasance, and the Truth that they actually agree more than they claim to. The left and right appear to be growing further apart, but are more alike than ever in their lust for power. While each party demonizes the other with increasingly hostile rhetoric, their arguments are over mere methods to achieve the same end. Their goals are not to improve the lives of ordinary citizens, or to reform a wasteful and corrupt government, or to return the country to a golden age of prosperity. The only goal is to seize power and to hold it for as long as possible; to do whatever they want with impunity. Electronic vote-fraud machines eliminate the paper trail that exposes rigged elections, allowing corrupt campaigns to manipulate the electoral college and steal elections like never before.

The education system is a broken mess, turned to garbage by ever-expanding government "reforms" based on narrow standardized tests that measure multiple-choice memorization (and encourage cheating by students and teachers alike) instead of cultivating actual knowledge. History books are whitewashed, written to be politically correct mythologies. Their committee of bureaucrat authors omit important lessons from the violent and bloody Truth about the revolution, slavery, and American imperialism. The citizens of tomorrow are being deliberately denied quality education so they can grow up to be vapid servile consumer drones who will unquestioningly accept the status quo, just how the power elite wants them.

Government officials frequently engage in politricks to make it appear public opinion is on their side. The War Department (don't buy that "defense" doublespeak bullshit) and the CIA "leak" official-sounding but completely fictional stories to the press that manufacture public support for doomed follies like the Iraq War. Eager for their "scoops," the Mass Media dutifully parrot whatever propaganda the government hands them, granting anonymity to the sources so there is nobody to hold accountable if the Truth is discovered.

Mass Media is obsessed with sensationalism, conflict, and inane entertainment. The best selling books are insipid ghost-written celebrity tell-all gossip memoirs or quasi-religious new age self-help dogma. Hollywood churns out unoriginal film retreads and sequels, filled with sound and fury, signifying nothing. Television offers patronizing news broadcasts full of colorful graphics, pretty faces, and feel-good fluff, yet devoid of serious critical investigation or meaningful analysis. Reality shows spin melodramatic webs wherein selfish "regular" people are rewarded for antisocial behavior. An entire cable channel nominally dedicated to "learning" is in fact a sickeningly exploitative carnival sideshow featuring every freak imaginable for its viewers' amusement. We Americans sit slack-jawed for several hours a day, absorbing all this hollow trash as though it were Truth, and make its emulation the soulless mission of our empty, frustrated lives.

A crucial organ to propagate the establishment status quo, the Mass Media portrays politics as a game, and elections as grand sporting events, awarding points for every campaign dollar raised, and subtracting them for every bungling gaffe. Voters are reduced to fans in a national popularity contest, ignorant of politicians' actual platforms and unable to make informed decisions. Devoted to maintaining its facade of objective balance, the media makes obviously harmful and wrongheaded ideas and calculated lies look like legitimate "viewpoints," thereby irresponsibly propagating them.

The Big Business-owned and advertising-dominated liberal news media is unwilling to ask big important questions or fund deep investigations for fear of losing advertiser revenue or suffering censorship from their parent company. The shallow infotainment, grotesque parade of sex and death, and celebrity mass culture we endure today is the direct result of the Mass Media's Big Business aversion to Truth and exclusive embrace of profit.

Big Business is the hand that controls America today. The most highly regarded and highly paid people in America aren't statesmen or inventors or scientists or artists or engineers, but rather CEOs and managers whose specialty is the cynical manipulation of people for their own gain, and financial vampires who derive profit from others' misfortunes. With their unlimited financial resources, the corporate plutocrats wield the power to write the laws in the government and spread lies through the media that ensure their continued legacy of dominance over the country. The corporatist has no allegiance but to profit and the unfettered acquisition thereof, even if it means devastating the entire economy. The corporation enjoys the legal and ethical rights of citizenship but holds none of the responsibilities. America is no longer a nation state of individual citizens, it is a lawless cartel of corporations which feeds on them. It is neofeudalism: they are the Lords and we are the serfs, growing their wealth in exchange for permission to survive. And if we wretched serfs have the nerve to challenge their rule, they can legally and financially brutalize us.

Our corporate masters have harnessed the government and Mass Media to keep us real citizens so stupid and complacent that we willingly, unknowingly, and repeatedly vote, act, and think against our own best interests. If Alexis de Tocqueville were to visit America today, his book would have a new title: Dumbocracy in Scamerica.

Bulgaria Engulfed in Woodland BEEF

The bear raid sirens echo down the empty streets of Sofia as Bulgarian citizens barricade themselves indoors. Outside, opposing shadows shuffle clumsily toward each other, overturning parked cars and setting fire to anything that burns. Twilight glints sharply off of golden grillz and bling. Suddenly, a throwdown. Another rap battle in the escalating war between bears and porcupines is underway tonight.

PORCUPINE: "We gotz da quillz ta pay da billz, da rhymes ta cure ya illz."

BEAR: "Only sucka MCs try ta fight wit dey hair, come face the powa of Bulgarian bear!"

Bears and porcupines are dropping science on each other in parking garages, crowded cafes full of terrified people, and even Bulgarian living rooms, breaking into the house to bust rhymes as the occupants watch wailing in shocked disbelief, praying for the horror to end. The battlegrounds seem to be chosen for their lighting, acoustics, and most importantly, audience.

Although no human can know for certain, experts believe the conflict was started by porcupine protestors, young unemployed second-generation immigrants frustrated by years of denigration and treatment as second-class woodland citizens, who chewed the bark from several trees around bear dens, provoking the cantankerous ursine clan into a full-on BEEF. This is the dopest wildlife hip-hop altercation in Eastern Europe since the 1992 Czechoslovakian mule deer breakdance riots, and the freshest interspecies rap confrontation since the 1987 Moldova flashlight fight between pro-democracy hoot owls and communist turkey vultures.

BEAR: "Step ta me if ya gotz da bawz, I smackz ya down wit my powaful clawz."

PORCUPINE: "Ya rhymez be weak, dey second-rate, go back ya hole and hibernate"

The animals' use of broken English instead of rapping in their native Bulgarian is unexplained.

The story of this little-known war first broke on the >LOST BOYS< #1 TACTICAL NONLETHAL NO STINGERS server for the online computer police simulation SWAT 4 the Stetchkov Syndicate, where yours truly was beating an elderly grandmother about the head, neck, and chest for her own safety. A message from teammate "VLADi" flashed across the screen: "HELP BEAR IN WINDO". That caught my attention long enough for my avatar to lose focus and accidentally kill the grandmother, and I was summarily kicked from the server for violating its antilethality and profanity rules. I immediately checked the #TT on @twatter where "Bulgarian bears" and #BEEF were prominently listed. I drew the only logical conclusion and now the world knows the story of this horrible conflict.

America's Wholly Manufactured and Imaginary Debt Ceiling Crisis

The "populist" Tea Party congressmen voted into office by a misinformed and manipulated public ("The people have spoken," remember that crap?) in the 2010 midterm election are now holding the government hostage to satisfy a fantasy ideology.

They believe in smaller government. What better way to make it smaller than to blow it all up? They believe in lower taxes, but only for corporations and the rich. That's not populism, it's plutocracy. They believe government is the antithesis of business, that is creates no wealth, jobs, or value, yet it must be run like a business, dedicated to profit and directly measurable quarterly returns instead of serving the public good. Businesses are also allowed to fail and go bankrupt (unless you're Wall Street and can grovel for a government bailout) but the government cannot go bankrupt without an unprecedented enormous social disaster, and there's no one but us taxpayers to bail it out. Maybe if we throw enough immigrant maids at the IMF they will spare us a few shekels.

Fooled with politricks into signing nonbinding antitax "pledges" by right wing anti-government groups like Grover Norquist's Americans for Tax Reform, (seriously, Grover, you expect a POLITICIAN to keep his WORD?!) these political kidnappers are threatening to shoot the hostage (while claiming Americans voted for it!) in the hopes that they will look pleasing to their corporatist masters, who will shower them with semi-legal campaign contributions and lucrative private-sector jobs while the real citizens of this country go destitute.

This moment in history is America's fall from grace. It is fitting that this great Nation collapses while trapped fighting an unwinnable decade-long quagmire in Afghanistan, that ancient Graveyard of Empires from Alexander the Great to Ghengis Khan to the Soviet Union. However, we were not done in through military defeat or global thermonuclear war, but by Congressional malfeasance; obstinate hyperpartisan aversion to compromise and adherence to a bankrupt dogma with no basis in economic reality.

The government's debts are REAL and backed by the 14th Amendment to the Constitution. The "debt ceiling" is an imaginary bogeyman that the Tea Party has hauled out of the closet and sworn to defend, despite the dire consequences of mortal harm to the economy. All of us real citizens will be caught in the middle as collateral damage. The "recovery" is a hoax. We are in a Depression with huge long-term unemployment, zero job growth, and a stagnant GDP. Allowing the government to implode out of blind faith in a fairy tale will only worsen the situation. Just look at what's happening in Europe. The Tea Party sees Spain, Greece, Ireland, and Portugal, and says, "WE WANT THAT."

These Tea Party brigands have been offered a tremendous deal - huge spending cuts in exchange for merely closing corporate tax loopholes - but they spurn the notion of even the most minimal tax increases to curry favor with the wealthy corporate plutocrats, who demand to be worshiped as "job creators," sit on huge cash reserves, take in astronomical profits, and pay themselves appallingly opulent executive bonuses, yet can't be bothered to actually create any jobs.

It will be the real citizens of America - that massive segment of the disenfranchised population, the real majority referred to by the power elite on a spectrum of increasingly dehumanizing terms as "constituents," "voters," "taxpayers," and that most odiously degrading slur, "consumers" - who will bear the real brunt of this economic catastrophe. We are the beasts of burden that carry this country while the oligarchs wield the whip. We are the giant pool of money they draw from to amass their fortunes. We could demand so much more from our elected representatives if we weren't so damn busy just trying to stay alive.

Congress has given up trying to pass anything meaningful to solve the problem they created and have instead gone into damage control mode. GOP trying to blame Dems, House trying to blame Senate, all of them trying to blame Obama. They have no interest in saving the country, only in saving their own reputations, so that in their fantasy version of Post Arma-debt-on America, they can scoop up lobbyist positions, consulting jobs, and book deals while the proles like you and me stand in bread lines.

I see three possible outcomes after the USA defaults and the government goes belly-up:

1. Obama says, "Fuck all y'all," and ignores the debt ceiling to save the country, citing the 14th Amendment. This royally pisses Congress off, and they embark on a lengthy, expensive, unpopular, and ultimately unsuccessful impeachment adventure against the President.
2. Corporate John Galt-wannabes step into the power vacuum and enslave American citizens in the post-government neofeudal dystopia they've always dreamed of.
3. Society as a whole collapses into roving blood cults that pillage a weakly connected collection of warring Bartertowns.
   

Perhaps in its newly humbled state, America will become a country of honesty, integrity, and human compassion after all. Perhaps after the corrupt and greedy have killed themselves off through their own stubborn incompetence, after 100 years of Thunderdome and trading bottlecaps for gecko meat, the real citizens can slowly reassemble their shattered country and at long last have a government by, for, and most importantly of, the People.

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Hulkipedia Review of Books: American Conspiracies

That's right, Gorilla! Ex Navy SEAL, pro wrestling superstar, the Body, the Mind, the former Governor, the goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus himself, Jesse Ventura rocks your skull with the secrets, lies, cover-ups, and conspiracies that have festered beneath the surface of America's diseased history - all the way back to President Lincoln's assassination. You should make an appointment with a neurologist before you read American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us, because it will give your brain a truth concussion.

Mr. Ventura explores some familiar conspiracy territory in this book as would be expected: JFK, Watergate, and 9/11. He also sheds light on some lesser-known or forgotten conspiracies, like the plot to overthrow FDR, and takes a hard look at the election thefts of the last decade and Wall Street - which remain two of the biggest threats to America today.

According to Mr. Ventura's research, every major American assassination in the latter half of the 20th century was the result of a conspiracy and a subsequent government cover-up.

• JFK: Lee Harvey Oswald was actually two men - Lee Oswald and Harvey Oswald - who were used to blame the assassination on Cuba. Mr. Ventura details a conversation he had with Fidel himself in which El Comandante denies Cuba's involvement and says it must have been an inside job. The Warren Commission was the prototypical cover-up: a government "investigation" followed by a lengthy report full of misinformation and lies that the media parrots to this day, in spite of mountains of contrary evidence.
• Malcolm X: Murdered for fear that he and Martin Luther King would form an alliance and threaten the racist status quo of 1960's America.
• MLK: Murdered by a right-wing sniper, evidence planted to set up James Earl Ray, who was possibly under the influence of hypnotic suggestion.
  
• RFK: Sirhan Sirhan was hypnotically brainwashed "Manchurian Candidate" style using CIA methods while, again, another gunman fired the deadly shots.

While his research has significant merit, Mr. Ventura misses the obvious truth about JFK. As America's first Catholic president, Kennedy was recruited by the Pope to recreate the Holy Roman Empire and, with the might of the American military and nuclear arsenal behind it, bring the Catholic Church back into global power. As was his nature, Kennedy refused to be manipulated, and was assassinated for it. Anyone who studies the FACTS can see this plainly! Why Mr. Ventura omitted this from his book escapes me.

However, the rest of American Conspiracies is quite illuminating. The power elite's attempt at a military overthrow of FDR, the mysterious plane crash that killed a man who was about to blow the whistle on electronic voting machine fraud, the cruise missile that hit the Pentagon on 9/11 that was called a commercial jet liner, Wall Street corporatists holding the people's government hostage to protect their profits - the truth is in there!

Mr. Ventura's latest book is called 63 Documents the Government Doesn't Want You to Read. Better add Hulkipedia and make that 64, brother!

Attention! Important Information Regarding Hulkidol!

ATTENTION! The prescription drug HULKIDOL has been found to cause unexpected and DANGEROUS SIDE EFFECTS. If you or a loved one have taken the prescription drug HULKIDOL and suffered any or all of the following:

• Ulcerative Colitis
• Inflammatory Bowel Disease
  
• Hemorrhoids
• Dizziness
• Quizziness
• Necrotizing fasciitis
  
• The condition known as "hot dog fingers"
• Penile hysteria
• Psychosomatic hypochondria
• Aural hallucinations
• Oral hallucinations
• Genital gangrene
• Steady yellow anal discharge
  
• Spectrophilia
• Phantom pains
• Phantom pregnancy
• General uneasiness or a feeling of impending doom
  
• Thoughts of suicide
• Suicide
• DEATH

You may be eligible for FINANCIAL COMPENSATION. Call the Law Offices of Hoegaarden & Hoegaarden NOW at 1-888-LAW-HULK that's 1-888-LAW-HULK to see if you qualify for FINANCIAL COMPENSATION. Hoegaarden & Hoegaarden will work HARD to make sure you get the FINANCIAL COMPENSATION you DESERVE. 1-888-LAW-HULK

Results are not guaranteed. Not trial lawyers. Not licensed to practice law in AL, AK, AR, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DE, FL, GA, HI, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, KY, LA, ME, MD, MA, MI, MN, MS, MO, MT, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NM, NY, NC, ND, OH, OK, OR, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WV, WI, WY.